tiqachu:

demeaniac:

one sentence horror story: “seems like we’re the last two people on earth, m’lady”

NO.

tylerslittleshit:

tylerslittleshit:

english is not my first language and all my life i thought brussel sprouts was the name of some celebrity

everyone is always like “i hate brussel sprouts” and all this time i was here thinking what the fuck did that poor guy do

me and bae having sex
bae: mmm yeah fuck me baby
me: put a quarter in the swear jar

taco-bell-rey:

The Simpsons was the most honest show out there

hotel-mario:

The year is 2540, a student in history class notices something off about his textbook. “How come these textbooks skip the years 1990 through 1999?” The teacher puts his air-marker down on the table, lowers his head, and sighs. “Because…” he lifts his head, a single tear rolls down his cheek, “… only 90’s kids remember the 90’s”

gradientlair:

nuneyskid:

50-year anniversary of the 9/15/1963 murder of four African-American girls in the 16th Street Baptist Church bombing in Birmingham, Alabama.

Their names are Cynthia Wesley, Carole Robinson, Addie Mae Collins and Denise McNair.

gradientlair:

nuneyskid:

50-year anniversary of the 9/15/1963 murder of four African-American girls in the 16th Street Baptist Church bombing in Birmingham, Alabama.

Their names are Cynthia Wesley, Carole Robinson, Addie Mae Collins and Denise McNair.

What they say to kids who want pets: Are you sure you're not just saying you want one because all your friends have one? Remember, it's not going to be small and cute forever, it will grow up eventually! It's a living being that will depend entirely on you for the rest of its life. Are you really sure you're ready for this?
What they say to adults who DON'T want kids: Oh, you'll want one sooner or later. Everybody does, after all. Besides, babies are soooo cute, aren't they? You'd better hurry up before you get too old!